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I write this with a heavy, heavy heart and I’m still not convinced it’s the right time to express all I have to say but for now here a few words for Denise Vernon
Denise, you were a warrior, one usually dressed in a Westwood tartan and battling for what was right and fair. You and Roland Metcalf, my Dad, were not only soul mates but for me have set the touchstone for how to behave in this world and through this sometimes too short life we have.
In the words of one better than I, and an author we all loved Roald Dahl. “I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I'll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else. You can be a lovely person without brains, absolutely lovely.
Kindness - that simple word. To be kind - it covers everything, to my mind. If you're kind that's it.”
You weren’t just kind though, you were all those things. The courage and bravery that you showed throughout your battle with ill health has been worthy of a medal. No doubt that true northern grit and modesty inherited from your wonderful father, Ernie and mother Cath.
Your generosity knew no bounds. The knowledge and experience you shared so freely & how you so wished everyone to succeed. The time you gave to your students, your colleagues, friends and family was special. Not just buying thoughtful gifts but making them. Right to the end you were creating works of art for people who were special to you. I think the time you spent nursing and nourishing your parents love as they grew old was probably the most exceptional act of kindness and love to witness.
I can’t thank you enough for all you did for me. So much of who I am was shaped by your influence. Reading, arts, culture, music, more. My whole life. Your knowledge on all these subjects immense. I suspect in my life I will never know the things you happen-chanced to forget, you were a truly inspirational intelligence and to be honest sometimes I wasn’t entirely sure what you were talking about! There are too many memories to discuss now but if anyone ever wants to hear them I’m happy to share over a glass of wine.
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was tell Camille about what’s happened. In her words she lost her best Nana. Who will bake, make and be with her? How will she remember your voice? The last question so insightful for someone aged only nine; I could hear your influence in her words and questions. An emotional intelligence that you had helped instil. But this is where I struggle to write more. She would have learnt so much more if we’d had more time.
The time we shared I was lucky to have had and my only regret is that we didn’t get to do all the things we wished for as three generations of a family. We will look after each other and never forget you. How could we!
Shared by Saskia
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